Because I want to! Forming the Will of our Children (part 2)

​As I said in the previous post of this series, a virtue is a good habit that improves the operation of the Will and of the Intelligence. These habits are acquired and perfected through the repetition of acts, and specifically of internal acts. You acquire a habit by:
      - the demand of another person
      - self-demand.
We as parents DEMAND from our children certain things to help them grow in virtue. Though this may continue as they grow up, the idea is that they grow in virtue by self-demand, because they want to be more orderly, more generous or sincere. The goal is that they grow in virtue BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!

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Two considerations:

1. Education by Example

​But we as parents cannot DEMAND from our children certain things to help them grow in virtue, if we don’t struggle to live the virtues in our own lives. We must educate by giving an example. It is very difficult to preach without practicing what we preach and we’ll see this more in detail later. Kids are like copier machines, especially from 0-7 yrs old, and they pay attention to everyone, especially to us. 

So what type of example must we give? The most important example that we parents can give to our children is that they see us struggling to become better persons ourselves. That they see our effort to do things better, our desire to overcome our defects. It doesn't matter that they see us doing something wrong. We recognize it and then we struggle to improve.

​     You have to struggle to be who you want your kid to be.

2. Personalized Education

​At the same time, we have to remember that every person is different, unique and unrepeatable. Some of the things that determine the personal differences are: genetics, temperament, circumstances during gestation, received stimuli, being the first child, the second, the last, the character, friends from school, the teachers, etc. All of these elements and others, shape our “being different”. They are all interrelated and modify themselves.

So each one of our children needs a personalized education.  We need to know what virtues to foster and what defects to correct in each one. It is easier to maximize a strength than to correct a defect. So, to correct a defect you have to maximize the corresponding virtue. If Joe is selfish, encourage him to be generous. If Mary is lazy, encourage her to work. If Tony is disorganized in his school work, help him be organized with his toys.
We need to know how is a child at a certain age, what are his strengths and his weaknesses, to some, order comes in naturally but they might get angry quickly and vice versa. Some are more patient by nature but struggle with order. 

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The contents of this lecture were taken from different sources: 
Educar la Voluntad by Fernando Corominas
​Several lectures given by David Isaacs